Film Review: If I Had Legs I’d Kick You

While trying to manage her own life and career, a woman on the verge of a breakdown must cope with her daughter's illness, an absent husband, a missing person, and an unusual relationship with her therapist [from IMDB]. Starring Rose Byrne, Conan O'Brien, Danielle Macdonald. Directed by Mary Bronstein.

Ron’s Review

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This film is entirely a vehicle to showcase Rose Byrne. As such, it is effective. The first act includes long takes focused solely on Byrne’s face. We do not see the child she is constantly conversing with, we only hear the child being whiny and annoying. And hoo boy, is the child annoying. This might be the most annoying child I have ever encountered on film!

But Byrne has a lot to do in this film and she does it with aplomb. She’s in every scene. Every single one. Chalamet is getting plaudits for the same but Byrne is doing all that while putting up with a whiny child; even though it’s acting, the child is so irritating to listen to.

The story is weird and at times, contrived. But let me say that it is nowhere near as contrived as Marty Supreme. Can’t help comparing the two films as they are both Safdie productions and these two actors are front runners in their Oscars categories.

Byrne is sufficiently gaunt, pathetic, angry, apathetic. She’s note-perfect, and weirdly kept reminding me of her fellow Aussie actor, Nicole Kidman in Rabbit Hole. It’s a very similar performance except Byrne is completely de-glammed.

I was actually surprised by the other performances in this film. Conan O’Brien does a solid job in this dramatic role. I forgot he was a talk show host! And A$ap Rocky was quite realistic, like a regular person who falls into the protagonist’s life. Who knew these non-actors could do such a good job?

The movie itself is fine but there were some parts I didn’t quite understand. Not everything needs to be explained but some inkling would have helped.

Not the kind of film I would have watched but I have now seen a good performance.

Mon’s Review

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Well this was exhausting. And annoying. I get that when things are stressful, and everything is on you, every little thing becomes disproportionately irritating. Nothing seems to go right. Everyone is incompetent. My guess is the film was trying to suggest that.

But, the child is so annoying. Oh my gawd. That kid has no regulation at all. I’m sure she’s living a scary life, but man, she was so annoying.

The film itself says a lot about motherhood and the invisible labour of it, especially the dual issue of motherhood and caregiving. The main character really embodies being a single married mom.

And yet some of it was too far-fetched. If someone goes missing call 911. Why are you wasting time? The character takes on too much of the burdens upon herself — those which aren’t related to her.

I also didn’t get the whole galaxy light show thing. Perhaps it’s a little too artistic for me.

Conan O’Brien is really good in this film. Really enjoyed his restraint. A$AP Rocky was also really great. Bar one scene when he seemed not to know what to do, he was a great presence. Injected some humour and energy into the film.

I can see why Rose Byrne has got the noms and awards so far. There’s such a focus on her. She’s carrying 98% of this film. And the camera is on her almost all the time. She does a good job of playing the downtrodden mom. Hollywood also loves it when their glamorous actresses ugly up, and this is pretty close. However, she has these affectations that make every role of hers seem the same. That’s the problem here too. You can’t not see that it’s Rose Byrne acting. It’s not like she gets lost in the role.

I definitely would not have watched this film had it not been for the Oscar noms. But I did eventually watch it.

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